The most powerful stories may be the ones we tell ourselves, says Brené Brown. But beware—they're usually fiction.
Illustration: Lauren Simkin Berke
My husband, Steve, and I were having one of those days. That morning, we'd overslept. Charlie couldn't find his backpack, and Ellen had to drag herself out of bed because she'd been up late studying. Then at work I had five back-to-back meetings, and Steve, a pediatrician, was dealing with cold-and-flu season. By dinnertime, we were practically in tears.
Steve opened the refrigerator and sighed. "We have no groceries. Not even lunch meat." I shot back, "I'm doing the best I can. You can shop, too!" "I know," he said in a measured voice. "I do it every week. What's going on?"
I knew exactly what was going on: I had turned his comment into a story about how I'm a disorganized, unreliable partner and mother. I apologized and started my next sentence with the phrase that's become a lifesaver in my marriage, parenting and professional life: "The story I'm making up is that you were blaming me for not having groceries, that I was screwing up."
Steve said, "No, I was going to shop yesterday, but I didn't have time. I'm not blaming you. I'm hungry."
Read a full article on: https://www.oprah.com/omagazine/brene-brown-rising-strong-excerpt
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